Cause and effect

I think both Rickey and I realized that this illness is have huge effects in our lives and in the lives of others.

I've  really noticed in the last week some of those effects. Emma has started having some tummy problems and family and I think it's her bodys way of dealing with stress. Of course AJ and Kenndra tend to act out with attitude. Today R really noticed that it was all streaming from his illness. It hurts him so much, but sometimes in our lives things we can't help effect our lives and the lives of our loved ones. I try to explain it to him, but being in the state he is in, it's hard for him to accept that it's not his fault, he can not help this disease.  What he doesn't see, is that yes he is away from us right now, but because of that he is also protecting the kids from unwanted harm.

Yes there are countless negatives to dealing with this disease, but the way I look at things there are also some great things to come from this entire situation. I have not ever been the most involved of moms but durring this time, the kids and I are growing much closer.  I also have never been the independent of ladies, I am all for women's equality , but in my own life I have always enjoyed boys doing boys work and me doing just what I can to get by. Rickey is a super hard worker, well durring this time I have had to really step up my game drag my lazy self up by the boot straps. I have also realized how hard I want to work for my marriage!! I love my husband with every fiber of my being and nothing changes that.

My sweet family has also been effected but I have seen nothing but love and support for Rickey and I. I am truly amazed by the sincere love they have for Rickey.

This to shall pass, not fast enough but it will pass. We'll come out stronger!!