Better bad days

I know that Rickey and I are both learning durring this new time in our lives, and I think we're starting to get some things down!

Yes I know that even medication won't make the bipolar disappear , even if I wanted it to. So he still has bad days. Now when a angry mood hits we've worked out a plan. He tries to tell me if he feels it come on and if we're together he'll ask me to leave the room. No I don't like being asked to leave, but it beats the fight that might happen if  I stayed in the same room, and he stays in the room and takes a nap or beats on his punching bag.

A few good things I can be thankful for. As we work through this stupid disease there are things I am glad R doesn't and do and will never do.  He has never physically hurt me or the kids, he has never cheated or abused drugs or liqure. With bipolars you have to be thankful in what is good with this stupid disease.

Here's praying for a much better, healthier 2013!!!

Laughing all the way...

The last two days have been so good! I feel like I've gotten a glimpse of my Rickey. We went out yesterday to spend our Christmas money, we were gone most of the day went to at least 4 stores and he did great!! He never lost his cool.

I woke up this morning just knowing he was going to be in a bad mood. Nope! We slept in, got up and he has been cracking jokes and been happy!! I know he is doing good when he likes to make me laugh.

Just praising Jesus for two great days!!!!

Christmas Day

Well I think we had a pretty good Christmas day. R woke up at 4 this morning with a migraine, he slept in his chair until I woke him up a little after 7 when the kids got up. He helped put their toys together, get their devices going and chilled in his man cave.

He did start to get worked up before my family got to our house, and of course I fed off of that, but as soon as my family got to our house I calmed down. He stood back while we all watched the kids open gifts, but did try. My friend Cherry call durring all this fun, she wished us a Merry Christmas and asked how R was, I told her not so good, she said" well you still have a very merry Christmas, enjoy the day". I did, I made sure to check on R but shook off my worry and enjoyed my wonderful family!

R did good, stayed in his man cave, family would go in and out to visit him. At one point papa, daddy and R were all watching and laughing hysterically at the show Ridiculousness . Mom and dad stayed after others left, we all watched a movie. I can say the day has ended better than expected.

He still had a hard day, but did well with what he had.

Good vs. Bad

Well I am still writing, just not as often. We're busy this crazy season, plus some of this stuff is becoming more of our "normal" so I just don't have to write as much.

There is something I haven't dealt with much until bipolar came along, mixed emotions. I am pretty cut and dry. I'm usually only one emotion at a time kinda girl, and most of the time it's happy and positive.

You all know since R is still trying to get his meds straightened out he is referred to as "dr. Jekle and mr Hyde". I married him because I love him. When R is having a hard day and "the hulk" is in I don't like him at all. Then there is that love that's still there and I fight with in my self to get through these episodes. Not fun feeling this way.

On a good note, on my first day off for Christmas break, R agreed to go eat lunch out. Thank goodness there wasn't many at the restaurant , b/c although he came with us, he said little and kept his head down the whole time. He did great! He made it through the whole meal. Kenndra and I are very proud of him!

Please pray for him going into next week. We have Christmas at his moms and then my family is coming to our house Christmas day. I pray it's all enjoyable to him.

Merry Christmas from the Downs family!!!

"I'm still a guy"

Funny title, huh? You'll understand better in just a minute...

Today was a great day! My dad and I took a concealed weapons class today. I got to shoot a gun, look at guns and now I know what kind of gun I wanna buy! I have found something cool that my dad and I can share an interest in.

After a great morning, I was able to help my happy husband work on his car. It went great! While helping hold up his very heavy hood, a song came on called "I'm still a guy". I just watched him work and thought, " I'm glad your a guy". He is hard working, super smart and doesn't mind getting dirty.

Today was just a fun day! R has had a good day, I've had a good day. It's a great day!!

Credit due

Well I wouldn't be living true to my reason for having this blog if I didn't give glory to God for his provisions.

With R not working, he is working on getting better, I am able to bring in what I can. But God knows just what we need and when we need it. On one occasion I had gone to the doctor and I just knew it cost an arm and leg, when I checked out I had a credit I had no idea was on my account and it only cost me $12 to get out!!

Christmas is just around the corner and we knew God had something in store, but had no idea just how wonderful a plan He had. Our wonderful Sunday school class took up an offering and gave us money for the kids gifts!!

I am attending a great function for the church I work for, I hadn't paid for my ticket yet, when my boss gave me my ticket she told me it was taken care of!

I serve an amazing God who time and time again meets our needs. It's a humbling place to be, but what better way to meet Jesus where we are. I am always reminded that God may have placed R to provide for us, but while He is busy healing him, He continues to remind us He is our provider in good and hard times!

"God is God, and I am man, I will never fully  understand. For only God is God Great is the Lord, holy holy!" Steven Curtis Chapman

Medication...

Well R is still on two of his meds, but after seeing the doctor he is also on two more.

I know that the medication, in the right dosages works great. But for those of you who don't know or live with a bipolar, switching or adding to his meds is very time consuming process! So he is on two more meds and off of an old one, which causes with draws, so right now the new meds only make him sleepy , it'll take two weeks for them to kick in and he is feeling yucky and has a headache from the withdraws. So the poor guy is asleep right now.

Over all he is doing good. His attitude is much better and he is fun to be around. He is still struggling with his very strong social phobia but is working hard to get better. His therapist said he was doing it the right way by taking his time and only what he can handle. I am so proud of his progress!!

2 In a row!!

That's right folks! R has been to church with me two Sundays in a row!! God is so good. Last Sunday he sat in our pastors office, this Sunday he made a small step forward, he sat in the sound booth durring the service. I am so very proud of my man.

R decided last week that he was gonna face this social phobia in the face! He isn't going to let the devil get the best of him, or bring him down further! I see real progress in his attitude. He is ready to step up his game. I know this is and will always be a work in progress, but to see him taking a hold of his disease and wanting more is so refreshing!!! My God is so good!

Obsession

I haven't written in a while, but I haven't forgotten that I need to blog. Just been crazy busy/lazy.

I know several post ago I told you how R had traded his truck for a really, really old car. Well that car has turned into his new obsession. It's all he talks and thinks about. When he's at his moms durring the week it's his focus. Now at one point today when I was thinking of a title I just almost put "mistress", but thought that might be a little tacky and misleading.

So last night I was trying really hard to watch my tv show on my iPad and trying to catch up on all the ones I was behind on. I was in my zone, and all R kept on talking about was all he was going to do to this car. I started to get a little aggravated then I stopped and thought, this is his "job" right now. This is what he does all day. I talk about my coworkers, and kids so this is what he talks about right now. I am thankful that he is talking at all.

He is doing ok. I haven't blogged on a daily basis in a while but day to day has gotten better. We went 3 days in a row that were good, had a pretty rough two days and had a great day today!! We worked on his car, my car and cleaned the garage today. There was no outburst of anger, no major highs or lows. He was funny, sweet and a joy to be around. I relish these days and try to remember them on the hard days.

So I guess the car is a nessasary evil at this point. It keeps him busy and out of the house. God is good and shows me light when I need it the most!