I have been baptist for ever! So hymns are always in my head. Yes I have heard all the new Christian music, and I love it. Since age 10 though hymns have been the song of choice in my baptist church. So why not take and make a title out of it.
I have to be honest, I get a little uptight and grumpy sometimes. Shocker, I know! Well there are more times, often than not, that I feed off of Rickey's mood. When he is really sad or grumpy I get grouchy and irritable. Thus is such a day. R is feeling down and at first I went on the defense .
Well the Lord quickly reminded me that I need to extend the grace give to me by Jesus to R. How in the world do win someone over? Well it sure isn't with meanness! I also know whether I am happy or sad R's mood is a chemical imbalance and not just because. I may not understand why he is in these moods, and if he could choose he wouldn't choose to be this way.
I may not understand why Jesus always ask us to use kindness with others. Heck, I don't understand a lot of His ways. But for some reason they always work, when I choose to work them.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
A full circle
Well there have been a ton of times I wonder why God allows us to go through things. I am sure once or twice you've asked "why". I mean I ask, why my son is autistic, why my papa had a stroke, why Rickey has to be bi-polar. Even why my pre-teen daughter is so stinkin moody!
Well sadly sometimes others have to go through situations like the ones you've gone through. With AJ we've seen time and time again others with autism some worse some better, we are thankful for just where AJ is, and know God has allowed it for our good.
Sometimes our roughest times in life, help others know there is a light at the end of a very dark tunnel. I know we have a long row to hoe, but I can look back now and breath easier . I have had friends, like Mr B, who have come from that dark place and has offered love, understanding and a listening ear. He has also used his life experiance to minister to me and R.
Today, with a heavy heart, I was in a "mr b" role. Our dear friends are in a spot like we were in last year. He is seeking help, and she is scared and worried. I was able to sit with her today, to tell her some of the things she can expect, and to let her know, it will be ok.
I never would wish any of this on my worst enemy, let alone a friend. But as we talked it took me back to where we kind of started , and I was able to reflect on just how good God has been to us. To faithfully walk beside us, to bring us from darkness to light. So as we walk beside our friends, I pray we can encourage them to keep pressing on. So we are circling now in a way, to share with others, there is hope. My Jesus says so!
So please don't hide your own hurts, if the Lord has brought you through, be ready to share! It's what Christ has called us to do, share salvation and a promise that He is with us!
Well sadly sometimes others have to go through situations like the ones you've gone through. With AJ we've seen time and time again others with autism some worse some better, we are thankful for just where AJ is, and know God has allowed it for our good.
Sometimes our roughest times in life, help others know there is a light at the end of a very dark tunnel. I know we have a long row to hoe, but I can look back now and breath easier . I have had friends, like Mr B, who have come from that dark place and has offered love, understanding and a listening ear. He has also used his life experiance to minister to me and R.
Today, with a heavy heart, I was in a "mr b" role. Our dear friends are in a spot like we were in last year. He is seeking help, and she is scared and worried. I was able to sit with her today, to tell her some of the things she can expect, and to let her know, it will be ok.
I never would wish any of this on my worst enemy, let alone a friend. But as we talked it took me back to where we kind of started , and I was able to reflect on just how good God has been to us. To faithfully walk beside us, to bring us from darkness to light. So as we walk beside our friends, I pray we can encourage them to keep pressing on. So we are circling now in a way, to share with others, there is hope. My Jesus says so!
So please don't hide your own hurts, if the Lord has brought you through, be ready to share! It's what Christ has called us to do, share salvation and a promise that He is with us!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Living with the human yo-yo
Well my title says it all! It's a positive spin on it though. My blog page is "living a roller coaster life". I feel like we've gone from way crazy to a little more controlled situation of a yo-yo. Yes R is on a great new pill and yes for like 3 weeks things were awesome! Yes the moods have come back some-what, but better under control and way less intense.
I haven't blogged in quite a while and well I intended to use this as a ministry tool, so in order for a tool to work, you actually have to use it! Things are better, more live able . Speaking of ministry, I and we have had some opertunity to do some of that. The middle of this month I have been asked to speak at some of our church ladies retreat and I am using my testimony as my base of my lesson. Sadly some friends of ours have had to struggle with some deep depression . My friend reached out when her husband wasn't doing well, and I would never wish these deep feelings on anyone, but I feel blessed we were able to talk to each other and we could lift them in prayer. Please keep theses friends of ours in your prayers, it's lonely and tough going through any form of sadness.
Any time I write that I was able to be there for someone, I don't want you to think I'm tooting my horn, this is my way of using what God's given us and using it for His glory. That's what we're put on this earth for anyway, to minister to others who may be going through some of the same things we've gone through.
Rickey turnes 34 this sunday, I pray that this year will treat him better. I also pray that he will grow to lead a quality of life that he will be satisfied with.
I haven't blogged in quite a while and well I intended to use this as a ministry tool, so in order for a tool to work, you actually have to use it! Things are better, more live able . Speaking of ministry, I and we have had some opertunity to do some of that. The middle of this month I have been asked to speak at some of our church ladies retreat and I am using my testimony as my base of my lesson. Sadly some friends of ours have had to struggle with some deep depression . My friend reached out when her husband wasn't doing well, and I would never wish these deep feelings on anyone, but I feel blessed we were able to talk to each other and we could lift them in prayer. Please keep theses friends of ours in your prayers, it's lonely and tough going through any form of sadness.
Any time I write that I was able to be there for someone, I don't want you to think I'm tooting my horn, this is my way of using what God's given us and using it for His glory. That's what we're put on this earth for anyway, to minister to others who may be going through some of the same things we've gone through.
Rickey turnes 34 this sunday, I pray that this year will treat him better. I also pray that he will grow to lead a quality of life that he will be satisfied with.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
I like my husband!
Yep. I like my husband! Shocker I know. Not really for those who know us at all. Really though, I was laying in bed last night and just had to thank Jesus for the good feeling I had. I laid in bed and was so happy. I like my husband.
You know the saying " I love you, but don't like you right now". Well for the last 6 months that's been more often than not. With all the up and down moods he has had and the anger he has struggled with its been hard. The line in our vows to be there in sickness and health has been a staple.
Well I got to thinking last night I haven't done an "ugly" cry in at least a month. He also went to the doctor last week and had one med switched and boy has it made a huge difference already. I am happy. I know it's not all about me, but it sure is nice not to have to walk on egg shells and nice for him to seem relaxed.
On a little different note. I know at the beginning of all this I said I wanted to use this experiance for Gods glory and I get just that chance in April . I am speaking some at our ladies retreat and God has really impressed on my heart to use this testimony in my life right now. Just please pray with me that I will only speak the words He allows.
That's about the most of the last month or so. Dealing with a few of the kids being sick and dealing with the crazy weather! Love you all.
You know the saying " I love you, but don't like you right now". Well for the last 6 months that's been more often than not. With all the up and down moods he has had and the anger he has struggled with its been hard. The line in our vows to be there in sickness and health has been a staple.
Well I got to thinking last night I haven't done an "ugly" cry in at least a month. He also went to the doctor last week and had one med switched and boy has it made a huge difference already. I am happy. I know it's not all about me, but it sure is nice not to have to walk on egg shells and nice for him to seem relaxed.
On a little different note. I know at the beginning of all this I said I wanted to use this experiance for Gods glory and I get just that chance in April . I am speaking some at our ladies retreat and God has really impressed on my heart to use this testimony in my life right now. Just please pray with me that I will only speak the words He allows.
That's about the most of the last month or so. Dealing with a few of the kids being sick and dealing with the crazy weather! Love you all.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
All good things...
Well I am writing soon than I had hoped. I try not to write until I need an out let and that time has come too soon.
We've had almost a constant of good days. Yes a moment or two of "downs", but heck I really can't complain. Yesterday started some what of a downward spiral. He had a hard day being alone at the house while we were all at school and work. He perked up when we got home and was back to himself by bed time. Today I was hoping for more of at least yesterday. Alas it isn't so( I had to put that in there, it sounds funny). He was home alone again today, he ate a lot of food and layed around all day and as soon as I got home after 3 he went to bed and is stil there at 7pm. I told the kids he is having a sad day. That's really what it is right now. My only prayer is that he'll get out of bed tomorrow for his monthly doctors appointment.
I know things will pick back up, heck Mr B was glad things were going well but told me that he'd be hitting bottom soon. Darn it!! I do praise God things are better! We'll make it through this valley and find happy again soon.
By the way, he was approved for disability!! We are praising God for this too. His provision is always perfect.
We've had almost a constant of good days. Yes a moment or two of "downs", but heck I really can't complain. Yesterday started some what of a downward spiral. He had a hard day being alone at the house while we were all at school and work. He perked up when we got home and was back to himself by bed time. Today I was hoping for more of at least yesterday. Alas it isn't so( I had to put that in there, it sounds funny). He was home alone again today, he ate a lot of food and layed around all day and as soon as I got home after 3 he went to bed and is stil there at 7pm. I told the kids he is having a sad day. That's really what it is right now. My only prayer is that he'll get out of bed tomorrow for his monthly doctors appointment.
I know things will pick back up, heck Mr B was glad things were going well but told me that he'd be hitting bottom soon. Darn it!! I do praise God things are better! We'll make it through this valley and find happy again soon.
By the way, he was approved for disability!! We are praising God for this too. His provision is always perfect.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
18 years
Well it's about time to blog again, so here I am. I guess you can tell by the time in between blogs that things are getting better. When I first started it was almost a daily blog b/c I needed to vent about all the hard times. Well I can say the "hard times" are fewer between . Praise our Lord!!!! Thank you for your continued prayers.
So now to address my title. R and I found one of our favorite movies, Gone in 60 seconds, and we got to talking about when it was made and then then got on the subject of how long we've been together. We started dating in 1995. That's 18 years people!! I am not old enough(in my mind) to be with him 18 years. YEARS.
If you know me I have always had an issue with age. My 30th birthday about killed me. I would live 17 if I could, that was a great age.
Well I figured tonight that knowing that we've been together 18 years, is causing a strong fight in me for our marriage. When times get hard, I am reminded what all we've made it through in the past. My God is so good. He heals hurts and restores relationships. Just food for thought.
So now to address my title. R and I found one of our favorite movies, Gone in 60 seconds, and we got to talking about when it was made and then then got on the subject of how long we've been together. We started dating in 1995. That's 18 years people!! I am not old enough(in my mind) to be with him 18 years. YEARS.
If you know me I have always had an issue with age. My 30th birthday about killed me. I would live 17 if I could, that was a great age.
Well I figured tonight that knowing that we've been together 18 years, is causing a strong fight in me for our marriage. When times get hard, I am reminded what all we've made it through in the past. My God is so good. He heals hurts and restores relationships. Just food for thought.
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