the title says it all

When I write this I don't want any one to misunderstand me. Rickey is the one who suffers from this illness I am the one on the side lines. My view is from a spouse, who walks this path with him.

Now, you know how I titled my blog, the roller coaster? That's so true! Take today as an example. Let me back up. Yesterday was a great day! R was in a great mood. He could face anything. Today, new surprises.

Rickey left the house in a less than pleasant mood. I hadn't heard from him, which is unusual, we talk all the time. I get a call sometime after noon and all he tells me is that I need to call the sonic by his work b/c his Jeep is broke down and I need to make sure that its okay for it to stay there until he gets off work. So my thought is that this is not a good day for him. He sometimes lets situations get the best of him, just like we all do, but I think I tend to amplify it b/c of his struggles. So needless to say I will not here from him until he gets off work, so I don't know what he is going through. One plus is that he is a mechanic and knows all about cars. So I know he can fix his Jeep we just don't know what it is or how much this is gonna cost us. Remember I HATE surprises. If the Jeep is gonna break down it's gotta tell me.

Its funny how R may be going through this illness but God is teaching me right along with him. I may not like the lessons but I try to learn and move on. Going through the same thing over and over again is not my idea of fun just to get His point. One thing I am learning is to think before I speak. I have never been good at this. So when problems or arguments arise I tend just to spout off. That is one "trigger" that gets to R. So needless to say that is something God is working on. He'll tap me on my shoulder and remind me that words make and break people. Words are as harsh if not worse that sticks and stones.

One neat thing that R and I do now when we get a chance, after the kids have gone to bed, we go sit out on the deck and we like to open up and have a time where we lay things on the table and get honest with each other, if something is bothering us we lay it out there and talk it through. Its so refreshing. Plus I love sitting and talking with my man!

Well we'll see how the rest of our day unfolds. May I be supportive and loving, and may the Jeep be cheap to fix!!!