more to tell

I have very scattered thoughts. So if you are reading this I hope my point gets across. Sorry if it doesn't.

Through out this new process, we have had nothing but love and support. We were never really worried that there would be a stigma to this illness. So many advances have been made in this area that there is a new out look for those on the outside, including me. People will come up to Rickey and I told us how they have dealt with this issue in one way or another and how they coped with it.

That being said Rickey still goes through some very low days. Even on meds there are some "dips" that he still has. The last three days have been some of those days. When you think bipolar you sometimes think anger, but not for Rickey. Much of the time my social butterfly will draw into him self and will be very quiet and sometimes very sad. So when these days hit, it catches me off guard, just like it does to him.

I am blessed when he goes through this that I have those I can talk to. One of the biggest blessings has been in the way of a new friend named Barton. He is marring a family friend of mine,Kim. He dealt with this, with a family member of his own and he is always willing to listen and offer up very real, and sage advice. My sweet mom is more that willing to listen but has a hard offering anything but words of encouragement. Mr. B pulls from his life experience and puts it like it is. He is kinda tough sometimes, but always with a kind spirit. I need that push in order to be there for my sweet husband. Its very hard to stay positive when you see someone you love going through a tough time. I do know that positivity is what my man needs in times like that.

We learn month to month just how to deal with the good and the bad. I realized today that I need to be equally grateful for those good and bad days. They are blessings in there own ways. On the bad days we tend to draw closer to each other. Most of the time after I have blown up, rolled my eyes, and let the "down" day sink in. It's not fair, but this is the hand God has dealt us and we as  family have chosen to let it all glorify Jesus. No we're not always the most gracious about it and a bit grouchy at times, but in it all we hope we point the way to Jesus.